Human In All My Mistakes
by The-Ochraniacz
Summary: When Danny discovers a secret relationship with Jamie and another man, it begins to tear the Reagan family apart.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Human In All My Mistakes (I'd Throw It All Away To The Shadows of Regrets And You Would Have The Best of Me)  
**Author:** **freeiheitpisarz**  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters/Pairings:** Jamie Reagan, Danny Reagan, Frank Reagan, Henry Reagan, Tony Renzulli, OMC. Jamie/OMC, Danny/Linda.  
**Genre:** Angst/Hurt/Comfort  
**Warning:** Mildly AU, coarse language, homophobic language, mild violence  
**Spoilers:** Blanket spoilers for all seasons  
**Disclaimer:** I do now own Blue Bloods, nor do I own The Goo Goo Dolls' '_Best of Me,' _or Sum 41's '_Best of Me,' _from which the title comes from.  
**Word Count: **1005**  
Author's Note:** May possibly become Mpreg in late chapters  
**Summary: **When Danny discovers a secret relationship between Jamie and another man; it slowly begins to tear the Reagan family apart. Relationships are tested when Danny is forced to protect his brother from his very own family and Jamie finds himself afraid of his own family. **  
***

Light begins to shine through the windows and Jamie groans, wrapping his arm over his eyes to block the sunlight. There's a chuckle from nearby and Jamie gingerly peels his arm off to peer up at a smiling face hovering above him. When Jamie's gaze meets blue eyes he smiles back, before closing his eyes and attempting to roll over.

"Not so fast," Alex says, swooping down to kiss Jamie's cheek. "Time to get up, chick. I have grand plans for our day off."

"Sleeping?" Jamie mutters sleepily, trying without luck to ignore the wandering hands stroking his bare skin.

"Ha, not a chance chick," a finger pokes his bare stomach and Jamie groans again, before rolling back over to face his lover. "I love how you look in the mornings." Alex says, settling on Jamie's thighs, his legs on either side of Jamie.

Jamie hums in agreement, running his hands over Alex's bare sides before resting his hands on Alex's stomach. "So what have you got planned then?"

Alex merely grins at him and Jamie smiles back in return, feeling sated and content. Without another word, Alex leans down and presses his lips against Jamie's. It's slow, languid and Jamie makes a contented noise at the back of his throat. Alex's tongue licks Jamie's lips and Jamie opens his mouth to allow his lover entrance. As Alex's tongue begins its leisurely exploration of Jamie's mouth however, there's a faint noise in the background and the door bursts open.

"Come on, Jamie, rise and shine-"

Jamie reacts quickly, breaking off from Alex and pushing him backwards. Alex doesn't move off him however and Jamie finds himself staring around Alex at his brother. Danny reacts the fastest, striding across the room and pulling Alex off Jamie, and promptly punching him in the face.

"Danny!" Jamie yells, launching himself across to push Danny away. Danny's only reaction is to punch Jamie in the face also and Jamie hits the ground with a thump. He covers his nose and looks up at his brother with a wounded look.

"Get out," Danny growls at Alex. Alex protests for a moment, standing in front of Jamie. "I said GET OUT!"

Jamie stands and gingerly puts a hand on Alex's shoulder, silently prompting him to leave. Reluctantly, Alex disappears into the bathroom, retrieves his clothes and gets dressed. Alex sadly meets his gaze as he leaves, obviously not happy with leaving Jamie alone with his brother. After a moment's hesitation, Alex leaves.

The room is silent and tense for a moment, before Danny lashes out and kicks the bed. Jamie flinches back out of fear and Danny flashes him a guilty look before running a hand over his head.

"What the fuck Jamie?" Danny finally asks in a strangled voice. "Since when…" he hesitates. "Since when have you been a fag?"

Jamie flinches back again, his eyes prickling with tears at his brother's words. "Don't use that word," he says quietly after a moment, not looking back up at his brother. "Get out Danny." He adds quietly.

Danny seems to realise he's upset his brother, because he sighs. "I'm sorry Jamie," he says. "I just, I don't understand. I didn't even think or realise you were that way," Danny growls, almost to himself, before he sinks onto the bed. "Fuck." Danny curses to himself.

"Is this going to be an issue for you Danny?" Jamie asks, standing rigidly beside the bed. "Because-"

"Sit down Jamie," Danny says, patting the bed beside him. Hesitantly, Jamie sits beside him and Danny reaches out and squeezes his shoulder. "I'm sorry Jamie," he says, guilt and sorrow in his face. He reaches out gently and grips Jamie's chin, turning Jamie's head so he can see Jamie's face. He hisses at the damage he did, before squeezing Jamie's shoulder again. "Shit, I'm sorry Jamie."

"It's okay," Jamie says quietly. "It doesn't even hurt. You punch like a girl." He adds, ignoring the throbbing in his nose.

"Bullshit," Danny says, laughing, but he stops and studies his brother's face. Jamie knows Danny is watching him because of how subdued he is. But this is a large part of his life and it's something he's had to hide from his family for a long time, and to have it exposed like this is quite painful. "I'm sorry." Danny says again, before standing and leaving the room.

A moment later Danny returned, holding ice out for Jamie. Jamie thanked him quietly, holding the ice to his nose. "You didn't have to hit Alex though."

Danny winces. "Well, I didn't have to hit either of you. I shouldn't have hit _you_," he says. "But seeing you two like that," Danny gags. "No one ever wants to see some big dude on top of their little brother with their tongue down his throat."

"Well next time knock on the door."

"Oh I definitely will," Danny grimaces, before he falls silent for a moment. "So who is he?"

Jamie sighs, looking down. "His name is Alex," Jamie says quietly. "He's a nice guy Danny."

"I'm sure he is. Don't mean I'm not going to beat the shit out of him if he hurts you."

"He won't hurt me Danny," Jamie says, but he's happy his brother is protective of him once again. "He's a good guy. And he cares about me and he understands my career. I- I really care about him Danny."

"How long have you been together?"

"Five months." Jamie replies quietly.

"Five months?" Danny asks incredulously. "You've been dating him for five months? I want to meet this guy. Properly I mean. Somewhere where I can't punch him."

"Tomorrow," Jamie says. "Today I have plans with Alex and you aren't going to ruin it any further than you already have."

Danny winces. "Sorry Jamie," he stands. "I'll leave you to get ready for your date. I'm sorry Jamie." He adds again, squeezing Jamie's shoulder. They wave goodbye to each other, before Danny disappears, leaving Jamie alone in his apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Human In All My Mistakes (I'd Throw It All Away To The Shadows of Regrets And You Would Have The Best of Me)  
**Rating:** R  
**Characters/Pairings:** Jamie Reagan, Danny Reagan, Frank Reagan, Henry Reagan, Tony Renzulli, OMC. Jamie/OMC, Danny/Linda.  
**Genre:** Angst/Hurt/Comfort  
**Warning:** Mildly AU, coarse language, homophobic language, mild violence  
**Spoilers:** Blanket spoilers for all seasons  
**Disclaimer:** I do now own Blue Bloods, nor do I own The Goo Goo Dolls' '_Best of Me,' _or Sum 41's '_Best of Me,' _from which the title comes from.  
**Word Count: **1081**  
Author's Note:** May possibly become Mpreg in late chapters  
**Summary: **When Danny discovers a secret relationship between Jamie and another man; it slowly begins to tear the Reagan family apart. Relationships are tested when Danny is forced to protect his brother from his very own family and Jamie finds himself afraid of his own family.**  
***

When Alex opens the door and Jamie smiles at him, Alex launches himself at Jamie. "Are you alright chick?" He asks, running his hands up and down Jamie's sides to check him for injuries. "I've been so worried about you. What happened? Did he hurt you?"

"Danny wouldn't hurt me," Jamie replies, ignoring Alex's sceptical look. "He wouldn't do anything too bad. Danny just has a temper." Alex looks concerned at that and silently reaches out and grasps Jamie's hand.

"Well, if he does do anything…" Alex trails off uncomfortably before sighing. "I just really don't want anything to happen to you." He finally says, caressing Jamie's cheek.

"Nothing will happen Alex," Jamie reassures him. "This is just a bruise and nothing else will happen. How's your face?"

"I'm fine Jamie," Alex replies, angry creeping into his voice. "But you can't brush this off Jamie. What if he loses his temper again and something happens? What if he hurts you?"

"We're brothers Alex," Jamie replies, pulling Alex inside the house and guiding them both to the lounge. "We play rough and we fight. But Danny and I love each other and we've got each other's backs."

"Okay, chick." Alex finally says, reluctance in his voice.

"He wants to meet you. I don't know how well that's going to go, but if you want to meet him…"

Alex grips Jamie's hand tightly. "I do want to meet him," Alex says softly. "I know how much your family means to you," Alex hesitates for a moment, pulling back slightly. "What about the rest of your family?"

Jamie freezes. Now that Alex mentions it, he can't be sure Danny won't tell his father or Erin about Alex. Jamie casts Alex a worried look, before he retrieves his mobile phone from his pocket. Before Danny can even finish his greeting him, Jamie is speaking. "Danny, you won't tell dad will you? Or Erin? Or-"

"Jamie, chill!" Danny cuts him off as Jamie's agitation rises. "If you don't want me to, I won't tell anyone. Calm down Jamie."

"Sorry Danny," Jamie says guiltily, rubbing the back of his head. "I just- I'm sorry. Thanks."

"But Jamie, you can't keep hiding this. Our family will want to know. They won't judge you Jamie."

"You judged me Danny," Jamie shoots back. Jamie sighs, frustrated, before running his hand through his hair again. "Sorry," he murmurs. "Danny, I don't think our family will be as accepting as you think they will be."

"Well I think you're wrong but I won't tell them. I'll see you tomorrow night for Sunday night dinner kiddo."  
*****

The next night when Jamie arrives for dinner, Danny grips him tight and gives him a one-armed hug, patting him on the back. Jamie gives him a sad smile in return and the two join the rest of the family in the dining room. After saying Grace and beginning dinner, conversation soon turns to Erin's latest case. Erin and their father argue good naturedly for a while, before there's a lull in the conversation.

"Grandpa, what's a fag?" At Sean's innocent question, the entire family freezes with the exception of Sean and Jack. Jamie swallows and shakily raises his head to look at Danny. Danny's gaze meets his, his expression a mix between guilt and self-loathing.

"Sean, don't say that." Nikki whispers desperately to the young boy, aware of how tense the family is.

"Who taught you that word Sean?" Erin asks angrily, and Sean looks at the adults around him.

"Why? What does it mean? What's wrong with it?" Sean asks, confused, looking around for an answer.

"It's a bad word Sean," Danny answers first. "Don't use it, okay?"

"Nothing wrong with it." Henry mutters under his breath, taking a swig of his drink. Both Erin and Danny immediately turn to face Henry, but the kids remain oblivious to his words.

"But mom used it." Sean says innocently.

At Sean's words Jamie looks up at Linda and is surprised to see she's resolutely not looking at him. Danny casts a hateful glance at Linda, before looking back at Jamie with an apologetic look on his face.

After a moment Linda stands angrily. "And I was right too," she says, before gesturing for her sons to stand. "Come on kids, I don't want you around someone like that." Ignoring the protests of the kids, Linda bundles them out of the house without another word.

Tense silence fills the room and Jamie cannot stand it anymore, quelling the aching feeling in his heart. He shoves his chair back and flees, not looking behind him as he flies out the front door. Halfway across the lawn however, a force collides into Jamie's back and sends him flying into the lawn. Panicked, Jamie turns around, only to find Danny's face staring down at him with a concerned expression.

"Sorry kid, but I didn't know how else to stop you," Danny apologises, getting to his feet and helping Jamie up. "Come on, I'm staying with you tonight." The two make their way to Jamie's car and climb in.

The drive is silent and tense and Jamie avoids looking at his brother. When they reach Jamie's apartment they sit in the car in silence for a few minutes, before Jamie eventually climbs out with a sigh with Danny following.

"I'm sorry Jamie," Danny says once they're in the apartment. "It slipped out, I didn't mean to tell her. We had an argument and apparently the kids overheard. Shit, kid, that's not what I wanted to happen."

"I didn't even think about Linda not accepting me," Jamie says quietly. "I was worried about you and Dad and Pop. I didn't even think that Linda might not accept me. What if Erin doesn't?" Jamie chews his bottom lip nervously. "I don't think Pop and Dad accept me." He adds sadly.

"They just… They grew up in a different time to us, kiddo. It's going to be harder for them to accept this, but they still love you. You know nothing could stop dad from loving you. Or me." He says, trying to reassure Jamie. He reaches out and ruffles Jamie's hair and Jamie playfully bats him off.

"Thanks Danny. I love you too."

"You better kid. Danny says, punching Jamie in the arm.

Jamie smiles back at him, happy at least one person in his family accepts him. Even if no one else does, at least his brother accepts him and loves him.


End file.
